(no subject)

[ravencallscrows]

Interesting day. damashita had an appointment with her chiropractor, who's still one of our connections to Skagit County, so we went up there for that. darkmuffin got a haircut while we were in the valley- he picked the style himself. It's much shorter than it was- so much so that for the rest of the day i kept looking over when he was with other kids trying to figure out who the kid was wearing alexander's sweater. (Picture probably to follow tomorrow or shortly in his journal). Spent a bit of time with the in-laws also while we were up there.

Came back by way of ayeshadream's place- had dinner with her and her housemate and did some more of the now weekly adult chat. One of the things which came up in discussion was the Wet Spot.I know of a pretty sizable number of people who are members and/or regulars there, but have absolutely no desire to go there myself (For those of you who aren't Seattlites or not 'in the know,' the Wet Spot is the commonly used nickname for the Sex Positive Community Centre), and it got me thinking. I don't think i'm a prude, and certainly try not to be- i think any form of sexual expression between consenting adults is fine. They may not all appeal to me personally, but i don't think there's anything wrong with them. There are just some things i'd rather not see- i have this whole auto-wreck syndrome fear that there'd be something going on which was personally unappealing, but for some reason i'd just not be able to not watch.

Does that make me a prude? I don't know. I prefer to think of it as just choosing not to engage in non-consensual voyeurism, but is that really any different? One of the definitions of "prude" (and by far the most positive of the bunch) is "a person excessively concerned about propriety and decorum."

It's that word "excessively" which bothers me. How much is too much, or does it vary contingent upon the environment? I'd be interested in seeing what you think.

In other matters which came up in discussion, damashita and i mentioned that we used to host the Skagit Pagan Discussion Group- for anyone who's interested, it's through those gatherings that we met greenshadows, who still remains among our closest friends- and both Heather and her housemate seemed interested in the concept. Are there any others among the local readers who might be inclined to attend if we managed to schedule such a thing? I'd mentioned perhaps doing something similar on the SeaGoth boards back in the late spring, and there was some interest there, but things fell apart when it came to actually arriving at a day which'd work for people. Because there's a fair divergence between this audience and that one, would anyone have an interest?

Comments

[janeoftrades.livejournal.com]

I'm in the same category, regarding "prude". I'm pretty damn sure I'm not as I'm a voyeur when it comes to most "vanilla" sex acts and definitely and exhibitionist in my own right. But there are some things I just don't have any desire to see. I'm not interested in watching anything concerning blood, for instance. Less straight forward, and an area that most people look at me cross eyed and tell me I'm overreacting at, is spanking. I really don't like getting spanked... lol My initial reaction is to deck the person in question. Similarly, I'm *very much* NOT interested in watching. Leads to some uncomfortable moments at parties, when I have to leave the room.

*shrug* I don't consider myself a prude... I just have areas I'm not interested in exploring. I'm perfectly fine with other people going there, I just don't want to go there myself. Some people consider me broke for it or somehow disapproving of them, which I'm not. There doesn't seem to be an eleganr way to communicate disinterest to most members of the "sex positive" crowd, at least in my experience. I find it sad, since I'm clearly not wholy vanilla but clearly not all kink either.

Right... TMI... /blather

[khallis.livejournal.com]

I find myself in a similar camp, overall, and the Wet Spot spooks me as well.

I think it's unfortunate that some people seem to presume that only the extremes are valid - that one is either "sex-positive", and hence into anything and everything, or a "prude" and against everything.

I prefer the freedom to pick and choose, and I try to extend the same right to those around me.

[greenshadows.livejournal.com]

I've had to accept the "prude" label myself, though I don't embrace it and I have a visceral dislike for the sound of the word. I've tried to change, but I are what I are...no need, I've finally decided, to change what apparently works for me.

I think it only becomes a problem when we demand prudery of others. ;) I'm secretly grateful that most people I know are less inhibited than I am!

[erynn999.livejournal.com]

No dear, I don't in the least think you're a prude just because there are things you don't want to watch. Hell, I go to the Spot and there are things going on there that *I* don't wanna watch either.

Blood? Fugeddaboudit

Prudery isn't when you decide that you don't consent to watching something you're not into. Prudery is when you decide that just because you don't like it, nobody else should use it to have fun either.

"Sex positive" is an attitude, not a set of explicit actions.

[hippybngstockng.livejournal.com]

I don't think you're a prude. As someone in the discussion pointed out there should be some grey to the black and white of prudishness- You can have prudish tendencies and not be a prude at all.

There is a big difference, *I* think, between *doing* and *seeing*. I would be comfortable doing things that I would be less comfortable seeing *others* do, and especially for me it's a question of who the others are- think about looking at porn, not every image you look at will always do it for you- so the "non-consensual" thing you said is very applicable to that- When you pick out a porno move to watch you look at the pictures and you go for what you want- when you enter a room full of people having sex it can instantly become TMI if there's someone there you wouldn't have "picked" as it were- you have no reason to wish them to stop though so you just don't want to be there- doesn't make you a prude though!

[maida-mac.livejournal.com]

I generally tell people that I *am* a prude. I have no concern for whatever they feel like doing in private, in public or anywhere they damn well please, as long as it's consenting, I just don't want to see it. :)

As for a discussion group, I would love to be involved in such a thing, if you all can handle an avowed agnostic who's slowly feeling her way back into other things.

[mokie-sassafras.livejournal.com]

I would definitely be interested in a pagan discussion group. I go to OLOTEAS rituals, but they're large & often feel impersonal. I'd like to participate in something more intimate that lets me go deeper.

[hottoastermama.livejournal.com]

Eh, I don't care what other people do. I *some* times have a vauge curiosity for what others do, but hey, you guys took me into "Toys in Babeland" sex toy shop and they're even family-friendly and I kinda got squicked.

Does that make you/me a prude? Hmmmm....probably not. Just tells you where your comfort zones are. Hey, you get someone in the privacy of a bedroom (or other private area, hell, why just leave sex to the bedroom ;D) and someone who is usually shy about sex in public may be an adventerous lover. So, no, I don't think that one is a prude if one gets uncomfortable about outward discussions or displays of sex.

Hey! Isn't sex about intimacy? So, why are you considered a prude if you want to keep it that way?

But, hey, if you can be outward about sex, good for you. Again, nothing against either or any kind of person. (DON'T FLAME ME!)

[wilson-lizard.livejournal.com]

Personally, I don't like to see any PDAs beyond holding hands or a quick hug&kiss. It totally has to be in the right context for me, a pre-established sexual situation, or else I'm really uncomfortable. It's like I don't know where to look, eh. I'd hardly count myself a prude, tho. I do think it's rude.

[gwynn-aaron.livejournal.com]

Regarding prudery: I agree with what Erynn said, and I don't think you are a prude.

Regarding a pagan discussion group: I think that sounds like something I would enjoy being a part of in three and a half months.

[ayeshadream.livejournal.com]

Strangely enough my view on people's choices on their spiritual and sexual paths are fairly similar.
Everyone has to decide for themselves what's right for them. I also feel you have every right to live your way, just don't expect me to join in, or try to make me feel like my way is “wrong” and yours is “right”. I’ve seen those from all flavors of the spectrum have problems with this. Sometimes those who claim to be the most open minded are the biggest culprits.
I've only ever had a (small) handful of partners, but I'm fairly adventurous about what I'm comfortable around. That doesn't necessarily mean I'll join in, but I've always been a curious observer. There is the occasional "pardon me, I need to go scrub out my mind's eye with a wire brush now" situation, but that's another matter altogether.