(no subject)
Aug. 11th, 2002 11:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravencallscrowsVentured down to the Fremont Sunday Market. Saw and talked with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
icequeen669 for a bit, also spotted oracle2c from a distance, and someone who looked an awful lot like corvuscrx (who was spotted earlier in the day by Victoria). Didn't have the opportunity to talk with either. Such is life.
Acquired new weird hat. If you're Seagothim, you'll have to wait until Wednesday to see it, and for those who aren't, if i remember, i'll post either a description or a picture then just to keep the suspense from overwhelming you.
I'm in a weird mood. Very contemplative, still a little confused around the edges, and pretty scared. After a lot of soul searching and discussions with both people, i'm beginning to define where i want both of my actively pursued relationships to go, and deathly afraid of fouling one or both of them up. Unlike what's happened at times in the past, i categorically refuse to be paralyzed by the fear or let it have enough room in the forefront of my thoughts that i'm in some way creating self-fulfilling prophecies from the fears. So, i'm sitting at the computer, listening to The Cure, feeling like a superannuated angsty teenager. At least some parts of it get easier with age.
"Whenever i'm alone with you,
You make me feel like i am whole again."
*sigh*
icequeen669 for a bit, also spotted oracle2c from a distance, and someone who looked an awful lot like corvuscrx (who was spotted earlier in the day by Victoria). Didn't have the opportunity to talk with either. Such is life.Acquired new weird hat. If you're Seagothim, you'll have to wait until Wednesday to see it, and for those who aren't, if i remember, i'll post either a description or a picture then just to keep the suspense from overwhelming you.
I'm in a weird mood. Very contemplative, still a little confused around the edges, and pretty scared. After a lot of soul searching and discussions with both people, i'm beginning to define where i want both of my actively pursued relationships to go, and deathly afraid of fouling one or both of them up. Unlike what's happened at times in the past, i categorically refuse to be paralyzed by the fear or let it have enough room in the forefront of my thoughts that i'm in some way creating self-fulfilling prophecies from the fears. So, i'm sitting at the computer, listening to The Cure, feeling like a superannuated angsty teenager. At least some parts of it get easier with age.
"Whenever i'm alone with you,
You make me feel like i am whole again."
*sigh*
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Relationships
Date: 2002-08-12 10:17 am (UTC)Or perhaps a better descrition is...stagnant. Certainly changed.
I wanted us to move forward, but we seem to have taken a couple of leaps back.
I feel VERY empty inside. Like a part of me that I had steadily for 5 months has suddenly been taken away.
I talked to her on MSN Messenger this morning...while she was waiting for her Master to get online.
She made a lot of excuses why she had no time to talk to me for a while. It was hard to hold back the tears.
I wish you all the luck in you relationships. I hope they go were you want them to.
I suppose for me, I'll have to except the fate bestowed upon me.
Perhaps, in the long run...this is a good thing.
Although it sure doesn't feel that way today.
Re: Relationships
Date: 2002-08-12 11:24 am (UTC)It isn't easy.
Good luck.
no subject
Date: 2002-08-12 11:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-08-12 12:01 pm (UTC)My day yielded a sunburn, good company and a lemonaide. However I did see two items that peaked my interest. One was a beautiful gothic cross (approx. a foot tall) and the other was a candle holder Victoria made.
As for relationships......
Re: Relationships
Date: 2002-08-12 01:23 pm (UTC)Re: Relationships
Date: 2002-08-12 01:41 pm (UTC)