Hippo birdie two ewes....
Apr. 16th, 2002 11:07 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravencallscrowsYup, that's right. 35 today. Guess what? It's as anti-climactic as 30, 25 or 21 was.
It's ok, though. I'm not particularly big on personal events anyway.
Found out that![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
damashita has had at least one naughty dream recently involving Christine- interestingly enough, apparently about the same time that Christine and I were arriving at the good Rev.'s apartment on Friday night (ok, so it was technically Saturday morning).
Interestingly enough, as attractive as i find her in several ways, that's somewhere i really haven't gone. I don't think i've allowed myself to go there. It's tough enough taking things slowly and proceeding with caution without letting the libido get in the way.
Now for the self-second-guessing. How slowly is too slowly? Being assertive is usually a problem for me- or at least finding the balance with it, and as result, i know i tend to err on the side of push-over far too often, because i'd rather string things out than force an issue and chance coming off as a pushy asshole. On the flip side, sometime you just have to be extremely clear about what you want, because doing so everyone involved knows. I know I've said something to Christine indicating a definite interest several times, but i'm not completely certain that it's been received as seriously as it was delivered. Damnit, why can't people just read my thoughts sometimes? I'd even volunteer to have the LED readout hardwired into my cerebral cortex, just to be able to display exactly what i'm thinking or how i feel to any particular person at any time.
It's ok, though. I'm not particularly big on personal events anyway.
Found out that
damashita has had at least one naughty dream recently involving Christine- interestingly enough, apparently about the same time that Christine and I were arriving at the good Rev.'s apartment on Friday night (ok, so it was technically Saturday morning).Interestingly enough, as attractive as i find her in several ways, that's somewhere i really haven't gone. I don't think i've allowed myself to go there. It's tough enough taking things slowly and proceeding with caution without letting the libido get in the way.
Now for the self-second-guessing. How slowly is too slowly? Being assertive is usually a problem for me- or at least finding the balance with it, and as result, i know i tend to err on the side of push-over far too often, because i'd rather string things out than force an issue and chance coming off as a pushy asshole. On the flip side, sometime you just have to be extremely clear about what you want, because doing so everyone involved knows. I know I've said something to Christine indicating a definite interest several times, but i'm not completely certain that it's been received as seriously as it was delivered. Damnit, why can't people just read my thoughts sometimes? I'd even volunteer to have the LED readout hardwired into my cerebral cortex, just to be able to display exactly what i'm thinking or how i feel to any particular person at any time.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Sorry :(
Date: 2002-04-16 03:03 pm (UTC)Sorry it's late :( BIG hugs to you though :)
Re: Sorry :(
Date: 2002-04-16 11:07 pm (UTC)Nor have you a reason to be sorry. It's not as if it's something of which i was making an issue, just reporting that 35 isn't any different than any other year, and natal anniversaries none than any other day- except that the real evil is that today was also my one-year as a "real" MS employee (as opposed to a contractor), so now there isn't anything keeping me from being able to switch groups other than finding a vacancy and someone who wants to insert me in it.