(no subject)

[ravencallscrows]

I know it's dangerous, but i've been thinking again.

Should people who dabble at polyamoury be called polyamateurs? And how does any group relationship survive long enough to get to the point where the little misunderstandings of daily life don't have all the participants at each other's throats? I'm looking at just the little minor cross words which arise from not having clairvoyance to read our partner's thoughts all the time with perfect clarity. Then i think about all the lines of communication which a relationship with more than two participants entails— 7 for a group of three, as opposed to two for a couple (thinking about it, i get a count of 16 for a foursome, which makes me wonder if people who go to that extent ever manage to do anything other than make sure everyone's on the same page and that those lines aren't getting tangled)— and consider becoming a hermit.

And, lest anyone wonder, there wasn't a major tiff today, just a little extra stress which decided to grace us with its presence when the serpentine belt on the van broke today. I don't think it ran long enough at any point on the way home— we were about 3 miles from home— to do any significant damage, but there's no way to know for sure at this point. And damashita and i just managed to be a half-beat off in the heat of the moment. Just thinking about a minor catastrophe with more people involved is just making me twitchy.

Comments

[stryal.livejournal.com]

I never thought of it as polyamateurs. But it does make sense as we are.
As for heat of the moment thing that could blow up. Yah....poly is HARDER than mono. But, for all the work....it's worth it. I've seen succesful poly groups....one's a triad that's been going for 5 years and one a quad that's working on 7 now. I think that's great! Heck, I know of mono marriages that fail after 1! I guess it just depends on how much someone wants to work at the relationship with their partners. That and communication!
What's a serpentine belt?

My pence worth...

[mistress-gaelan.livejournal.com]

Having been part of one for four years this November, I can certainly say it's not for everyone- I didn't even know if it was really for me... but once you get through the first misunderstandings and blazing rows, it's really quite lovely. It's not easy, but I think I've learned a lot about by being in one, about communication, healthy boundaries and myself, as well as my husband and his mistres... Plus, there's the amusement factor when you go to family functions together and people don't ask but you can tell they want to... :)

[wilson-lizard.livejournal.com]

That's my major concern with getting involved in something like a triad or quad. Too many cooks...

I guess a lot of cooks could make a wonder big meal, rather than spoil the soup. :)

[wilson-lizard.livejournal.com]

That's my major concern with getting into something like a triad or quad, or even dating someone in another couple. Too many cooks...

I guess a lot of cooks could make a wonder big meal, rather than spoil the soup. :)

(Avoiding my wee one)

[hottoastermama.livejournal.com]

Part of your post reminded me of something.... maybe you'll enjoy it :D

My good friend Jeremy, from college, who dated another dear friend, Sarah *damn, we're all related in the music department!* would always talk about his ideal setting to her:

Being a hermit out in the woods in a shack, alone. (Redundant, yes. He's a musician. We didn't say literate.)

Their relationship kinda/sorta ended soon after that. Well, and the fact that she decided she was gay.

Moral of the story, if there was one: occasional hermitage is ok! Sarah heard the story one too many times and hit the road...in the other direction ;D Heheheheh. Ok, Going to strange, erm, wrangle up Jonah to go on errands.