(no subject)
May. 30th, 2002 12:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravencallscrowsWhat a nice evening. Made up for work completely. Finally met AutumnGray, got to congratulate Riff/DJRetcon on his new job, even though it may be two offers, talked with revseandoe, Jason and Gary when they arrived, Sara and Chris, and later in the evening did a little talking and a little flirting with Sheannine. Spent most of the evening in one of a few different conversations. So it's taken five or six years of being in the Seattle area to get social. I'm now at a place where i think i can do a reasonably credible job at it.
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no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 04:07 am (UTC)OH Damn.
It's going to take me THAT long to make friends?
That really sucks. I mean, I knew it wouldn't be instant but.. damn. *sighs* Oh well.
Ha! See, I've still got a year to go and then I will be 18 and I will graduate. Then I can _finally_ make friends and go to the clubs in Detroit. (or rather, go to the club and _then_ make friends) But ... see, I go to this small Catholic school so you see where the problem is in meeting people like myself.
*sighs*
Plus, I have to add onto the top of that is that I live a very sheltered life. I'm not really allowed to go anywhere unless it's to work or school. I actually bought tickets for a kmfdm show for me and a friend and I was SO surprised they let me go. Although, they kind of had to now that I had bought the tickets... (they are my "parents" or rather, my grandma really... she's who I live with and she's an over-controlling bitch who lives in the 50s.. it's really scary-she's insaaaane) OKay.. So, Hi. My name is Raquel. I usually don't comment this long.. I promise. :D
no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 10:19 am (UTC)Feel free to comment whenever you like. Everyone else does. :-)
It won't necessarily take you five or six years, it just depends on how social you feel like being. I live about 60 miles north of Seattle, WA; and about as far south of Vancouver, British Columbia- i joke that it's equally inconvenient to either. For the longest time, being pretty much a hermit, i didn't even try to have much of a social life. There aren't any *real* clubs in the town where i live, and, you guessed it, to find either, you go to Seattle or to Vancouver. Neither is far enough away that that's out of the question, so it's possible. Unfortunately, i also *work* on the east side of metro Seattle, so doing most things ends up looking something like this:
7:00 a.m.: Leave for work
8-8:30: Get to work
4-5: Head home from work.
5:30-7: Get home from work.
By the time i'd eat and get dressed to go out anywhere for the most part, it's anywhere between, oh, 7 and 9:30. Then there's the hour drive (since it's no longer rush hour) back into town....
Of late, the resolution to this has been to stay late on Wednesdays (which is encouraged by my workgroup), and go right to Goth Coffee directly from work, and then to shave that time off of Fridays and leave at 2 or 3, which makes it possible to do something.
I don't know how the goth community is there (or even if you identify as goth or a rivethead, but KMFDM is a bit of a clue), but here it's pretty phenomenal. There isn't the pressure to fit into any particular mold- we're pretty much an semi-open community where all you have to do to fit in is want to and not go out of your way to make a complete ass of yourself. Yeah, there's still all sorts of social ladders, but climbing them is completely optional, and there are more people who couldn't give a rat's ass about where they stand than there are who want to be the "cool kids," which is pretty damn refreshing.
Actually "fitting in" didn't take five or six years, it took that long for me to decide i wanted to have some sort of social life. Getting to the point where i knew people in the community of which i've decided to become a part has been easy- i think within the first two months or so, i'd made twenty or so new acquaintances who i knew by name and felt comfortable hanging out with them.
It's not that hard a thing. Deciding you want to do it is the tricky bit. Good luck to you.
Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 01:51 pm (UTC)You have Seattle and Vancouver, I have the option of Chicago or Detroit. Detroit is closer and by far safer, but I am in the middle of those. They are both a two hour drive from where I live. The goth scene in my town is nonexistant.
I never see anyone goth here.
As far as rivethead goes, no, I consider myself to be goth.
As much as I can be with never being in the scene before. I mean, I know things, I'm not stupid. I just have never had any friend that are the same as me a like the same things as me. It's really a bummer sometimes.
I like lots of different things... and the music is very new to me.
I'm also very into bdsm and I have several things I like sexually.
That's one of the main reasons that I concluded I was goth.. I had these intense feelings of attraction and just these really strong longings when I saw goth people and when I see goth guys, it's even worse. It's not even just goth, it's vampiric.
^_^ Sometimes this attraction creates problems for me. ;)
Ahh.. but it's more than that. It's just unexplainable. I guess it's more like a feeling... or an aura?
Do you know what I mean?
no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 03:22 pm (UTC)That's the beauty of the goth community, imo- you don't have to try to be the square peg in the round hole, you're perfectly welcome to be a square peg, an elliptical one, even an irregular polygonal peg, and as long as you're being what you are, and aren't too much of an asshole in doing so, you'll fit right in.
Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 04:56 pm (UTC)I'm so glad I found you. I hope I'm not annoying you by asking stuff or commenting.. but I do have something to ask.
See, I'm not 18 yet. (you probably knew that)
When I turn 18 in a year I'm going to go to my first goth club and it will most likely be alone.. So.. what do I do? I mean.. will people come right up and talk to me? *gets nervous* I've been nervous about this for a while even though it's a year away. I know it will be a night to remember and is really the only thing I have to look forward to besides graduation... (and the kmfdm concert!) So, I know it's a regular club.. I'm just really not sure what to wear, either. I mean.. it doesn't matter, does it? I mean.. If I dress totally odd, no one will stare, right? Can I be over-dressed? >_o
I just want to avoid looking like a total newbie! I'd like to be noticed but not be everyone's little point and laugh at that idiot thing, you know?
no subject
Date: 2002-05-30 08:07 pm (UTC)Within the overall goth community, there are goth, rivethead and punk subsets- depending on musical preferences (rivetheads are those who lean toward industrial/harder darkwave- a la KMFDM, Kill Switch etc., whereas goth refers more toward the lighter or more ethereal music- Rasputina, Faith and the Muse; and there's a huge overlap with electronica and darkwave, even some techno stuff- VNV Nation, Apoptygma Berzerk, Front Line Assemply etc.). Pay attention here, there'll be a test later ;-)
As for "will people come right up and talk to me," don't expect it. Might happen, but it's not a gimme. If you're an attractive female, the chances are higher. One thing to note- at least here, it's very much not a sizeist community- the whole concept of "beauty=size 6(or whatever)" is totally out the window. Some of the most attractive women i know are size 20 or higher. Figure you'll have to introduce yourself to people, but that's ok. It can be a little awkward, but keep at it- you'll get to know folks in time.
Something you might want to do is to check around for discussion forums. The Seattle Gothic community has one at http://pub53.ezboard.com/bseagothforum (http://pub53.ezboard.com/bseagothforum) which is lots of fun, free, and open to the public, as well as being a good way to get to know the people who are the community here. I'm pretty sure there's a Midwest board also, so it might be worth looking around- you might be able to find someone in your general area who you can meet and hang out with/go clubbing with- which makes it a lot easier.
For that matter, you're welcome to come talk with the Seagoths. We're pretty friendly and only bite if we know you well or you ask nicely ;-)
It'll at least get you used to interacting with "family."
Re:
Date: 2002-05-30 11:09 pm (UTC)Anyway. If you want to see what I look like: http://community.webtv.net/fenofeno/red
I don't really like the goth music as much as the others. I know all the bands you spoke of, know a few good songs by each. I'm more of an all-types of music person. I've barely heard any music, too.. so.. that I need to be exposed to.
What you said about sizes.
Wow. I mean, I'm so used to being thought of as the "fat" girl. I mean, I'm not. Half of it is because I'm soo tall. (5'10") I'm taller than most of the guys in my school. I go to a small Catholic school, too. I stand out so bad! Our dress code is horrible.. blah! My class is 41 people. I'm the tallest girl in the entire school, and excluding about 5 guys, the tallest guy. (if I were male)
Not only that, but everyone is tan, heroin chic and blonde. And me?
Oh lord. I guess I'd say curvy, pale and brunette. Only really dark hair. I don't have to dye it black.
And I'm always worried about wearing tight stuff. I mean.. I usually wear loose stuff to school because ... I don't want to stir any (Omg, she shouldn't be wearing _that_) kind of comments. Hopefully this won't happen as much in the goth community?
I've got lots of cool clothes. I bought this corset from the Dark Angel (uk) and it's too small, but they won't let me return it. I don't know what to do with it. lmfao. Then I've got these kick ass thigh-hi boots and I have nowhere to wear them.. and am nervous to because they make me 6'4" when I wear them. O_O;;
But thank you for the boards thing, I shall follow the link and see if I can chat with you Sea-goths (cute) and maybe find the Detroit goths. :)
I don't know if I forgot anything.. :) I suppose I'll eventually tell you it. You can tell me stuff too, if you want to. I like to help out. :D
no subject
Date: 2002-05-31 12:41 pm (UTC)As for being eclectic in tastes, musical and otherwise, welcome to the club. That's another thing which seems to be an identifying factor for "gothness," but it's a fairly sensible one. After all, we're the people who are usually too smart and inquisitive for our own good, and it'd follow logically that our tastes and interests are similarly varied.
Wear what you want among 'family.' If someone doesn't like it, they can go f*ck themselves, but you're not too likely to find many in the community who are going to be rude enough to comment negatively- after all, we're the people that *they* (the so-called 'normal' people) don't understand and accordingly most of us have been abused by mundane, small-minded people before.
If i were you, i'd wear the boots. They're something that's going to make you distinctive, and may attract people to you, and it's a lot easier to meet and get to know people if they're coming to you than having to go to them- simply because people tend to congregate in little conversational knots, and it can be difficult to break in, as an outsider, to an already established social group (see the thread on the seagoth boards under General Discussion about elitism for some really valuable insight for outsiders).
Hopefully you'll find a Detroit equivalent, and the community there will be as good as the one here.
Re:
Date: 2002-05-31 12:56 pm (UTC)(hey! It was..)
<
(hey! It was..)
<<I don't think you'd have anything to worry about, at least in the Seattle community- you're *cute.*>>
Thanks. I know I don't have many "goth" pictures on there. I don't really dress that way often. I have nowhere to go (as we've already established).
<< After all, we're the people who are usually too smart and inquisitive for our own good, and it'd follow logically that our tastes and interests are similarly varied.>>
^_^ Yeah. Unfortunately, I am usually very curious. Although not curious enough to do something about my curiosity. Just dream and think about it until I eventually find out. If that made any sense. :)
<<Wear what you want among 'family.'>>
*sniffles and wipes tear*
<< but you're not too likely to find many in the community who are going to be rude enough to comment negatively- after all, we're the people that *they* (the so-called 'normal' people) don't understand>>
See, I was hoping this. And I totally understand this. But, there's always the asshole, you know? I mean.. I guess as far as I know, there's an asshole in every group. Someone who will always go above and beyond to make your life a living hell.
<< and accordingly most of us have been abused by mundane, small-minded people before.>>
My entire life from when I first started going to school to now and most likely beyond. Even by my parents. My parents have done and said some really really rotten things to me for no reason. Sadly, my home life isn't the best.
<<If i were you, i'd wear the boots. They're something that's going to make you distinctive, and may attract people to you>>
^_~ Yeeeah! You bet it is. ;o Did I just say that? I mean, this is all hoping, anyway. ;)
<<(see the thread on the seagoth boards under General Discussion about elitism for some really valuable insight for outsiders).>>
Oki. Yeah, I went there and I wasn't sure which topic to click. But, meanwhile, I can't subscribe to the ezboards b/c it doesn't support my webtv. And as far as I see, there is no midwest or michigan goth board! lol.
<<Hopefully you'll find a Detroit equivalent, and the community there will be as good as the one here.>>
Awwh! Thank you! You're so nice.. !
Detroit Gothdom
Date: 2002-05-31 01:33 pm (UTC)http://www.spraci.net/cgi-bin/menucat.cgi?area=x2detroit&category=goth
http://www.xmtp.net/mailman/listinfo/diag
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GothiqueDetroit/
http://www.detgoth.com/
It's a shame you can't get to ezboard. :-(
More in response shortly.
Re: Detroit Gothdom
Date: 2002-05-31 08:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2002-05-31 02:28 pm (UTC)DOH!
Date: 2002-05-31 02:32 pm (UTC)http://pub53.ezboard.com/fseagothforumfrm15.showMessage?topicID=5386.topic (http://pub53.ezboard.com/fseagothforumfrm15.showMessage?topicID=5386.topic)
I can be such a moron at times....Wheeeee!
no subject
Date: 2002-05-31 10:25 pm (UTC)It just happens that i happen to have one- which was taken this past Wednesday at Goth Coffee. It's not a particularly good picture of me, but it's the most current one i have.
http://www.avarielelf.com/images/vyt_at_goth_coffee.jpg (http://www.avarielelf.com/images/vyt_at_goth_coffee.jpg) if you're interested. I'm second from the left, and the only one "out of uniform"- the shirt isn't black, it's a charcoal grey silk.
I know i have a bunch of pictures of Sheannine (she's the Basque woman i've mentioned before, i'd not object to her being my girlfriend, although my wife is much closer to the physical archetype to which i generally gravitate, and they're near-opposites), and my friend Stax took a bunch the week before which include quite a few others who i've mentioned, if you want to see them too ;-)
Re:
Date: 2002-06-01 07:21 am (UTC)Hehe.
I wasn't sure if you were a man or a woman.. I thought that Vanya was a woman's name and after thinking about it, it sounded pretty cool for a guy... lmfao.. *shrug*
Anyway.. that guy right next to you on the right reminds me of this one guy I met a while ago. He was really really nice. ;)
Re:
Date: 2002-06-01 09:06 am (UTC)On which side? The guy on the left is Chris, the redheaded one on the right is Jason.
Re:
Date: 2002-06-01 09:28 am (UTC)Umm.. the one on the right that doesn't look like matt pinfield and has blond hair. ;)
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Date: 2002-06-01 08:24 pm (UTC)