He could have at least sent a gift

We're closing in on major holidays for two of the religions of The Book- Pesach (Passover) and Easter. If you know the historical background of the latter, you have some insight into the reason for the synchronicity. If not, not only was Jesus a Jew, the so-called Last Supper was a Passover seder.
The Church made a decision centuries back to determine when to set the date which decoupled the two, electing to observe the holiday on the first Sunday following the new moon after the equinox, where the observance starts on the 15th of Nisan (the Jewish calendar uses the new moon to mark the beginning of each month- Rosh Chodesh- the head of the month, which would place the 15th at or near the full moon).
Pesach is a culinary adventure if you're observant. Because the event is a remembrance of the Exodus, and the children of Israel reputedly didn't have time to wait for bread to rise, leavening agents are right out. Spiritually, this is explained as leaven as comparable with sin.
Anyway, if there's one thing of which Judaism is full, it is interpretations (followed closely by opinions). One of the traditions around Passover involves an interpretation of what exactly constitutes a leavening agent- among Eastern European Jews (Ashkenazim), not only is it traditional to avoid yeast, but even some legumes, although how peanuts could plausibly make things rise is outside my ken.
So, from a culinary vantage point, lots of matzoh and things which don't require rising.
Now, imagine, if you will, what this means to a kid with a birthday this time of year. Traditional birthday cake is right out. Since my mom is in the running for one of the most inept chefs in the history of humanity, this meant my natal anniversary celebrations usually centred around store-bought coconut macaroons the size of softballs.
It is also traditional at the seder to set a place for the prophet Elijah, on the chance that he will come to announce the coming of Messiah (among other reasons).
All these years later, I'm finally realizing that I'm not just miffed at having missed out on cake all those years- I'm much more of a birthday pie person these unobservant days. I'm annoyed at Eliyahu ha Nevi'i. It was bad enough we set a place at the table for him every year only to have him fail to show up, but he never even sent as much as a card. I figure he owes me a few presents as well.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Edited to correct me getting distracted and tangling up the way the Christian date for Easter is fixed and completely neglecting to finish explaining the Jewish dating for Pesach.