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Clarification on part of last night's post
Jan. 9th, 2003 12:02 pmSpecifically this bit:
I think in many ways i'd have been much happier as a woman. Still plan on playing the hand with the cards i was dealt, though. Damnit, if i'm going to be depressed, why can't i tend toward bipolar, so at least i get some manic, up times?
This is the result of several things. First off, let me say that i have a handful of transsexual friends, and honour and respect the courage it took to lead them to the choices they made. Although personally i occasionally feel as if i'm stuck in a body of the wrong sort, it's not a consistent enough or strong enough conviction that i'd ever follow in their footsteps. Traditionally, looking at the history of bard-craft, it doesn't seem to be an uncommon thing to have "gender confusion" at times.
The second part is completely unrelated to the former. I've been working on getting away from "better living through psychopharmacology." The anti-depressants i was taking help with the moods, but tend to make me feel lethargic, reduce my attention span and memory to an infinitesimal fraction of what they ordinarily are, and make me feel sick every time i eat- all in all, a pretty unacceptable situation. Off of them, i've been playing neurochemical rollercoaster. Eating doesn't make me sick, which is a definite plus, but i'm more prone to be down and have been mildly suicidal (on a scale of 1-10 no more than a 3, and rarely even that high, so there's no cause for concern. I promise to let people know if it gets any higher, but as it is, the occasional thought is "Dying wouldn't be such a bad thing right about now."). The energy and memory levels haven't rebounded yet either.
Ooooh! Shiny!
What was i talking about?
Will be heading to the Science Centre with alexander shortly. Gotta feed him first. Kid eats more than i do.
I think in many ways i'd have been much happier as a woman. Still plan on playing the hand with the cards i was dealt, though. Damnit, if i'm going to be depressed, why can't i tend toward bipolar, so at least i get some manic, up times?
This is the result of several things. First off, let me say that i have a handful of transsexual friends, and honour and respect the courage it took to lead them to the choices they made. Although personally i occasionally feel as if i'm stuck in a body of the wrong sort, it's not a consistent enough or strong enough conviction that i'd ever follow in their footsteps. Traditionally, looking at the history of bard-craft, it doesn't seem to be an uncommon thing to have "gender confusion" at times.
The second part is completely unrelated to the former. I've been working on getting away from "better living through psychopharmacology." The anti-depressants i was taking help with the moods, but tend to make me feel lethargic, reduce my attention span and memory to an infinitesimal fraction of what they ordinarily are, and make me feel sick every time i eat- all in all, a pretty unacceptable situation. Off of them, i've been playing neurochemical rollercoaster. Eating doesn't make me sick, which is a definite plus, but i'm more prone to be down and have been mildly suicidal (on a scale of 1-10 no more than a 3, and rarely even that high, so there's no cause for concern. I promise to let people know if it gets any higher, but as it is, the occasional thought is "Dying wouldn't be such a bad thing right about now."). The energy and memory levels haven't rebounded yet either.
Ooooh! Shiny!
What was i talking about?
Will be heading to the Science Centre with alexander shortly. Gotta feed him first. Kid eats more than i do.
