(no subject)

Back from Saturday at the con, and i'm feeling very contemplative.
In terms of made and missed connections, the day had plenty of both. Managed to get revseandoe's room number wrong, so missed him until we happened to run into each other much later in the evening. Connected with Christine, who brought a flock down with her, but ended up going in seperate directions. Missed getting to meet autumngray completely- don't know if she made it to the Merchants of Deva party or not, but since there were loads of people there and i didn't have a clue how to find her (for that matter, she doesn't know much about me other than the costuming description posted here), so that's an understandable missed connection. Saw lots of people i've worked with one place or another- including Brad L., Jon W., Sue M., Shawn and Katrina S, Riff (of course); and a lot of others I know from one place or another- Jaqui, Steven, Grimm; and the standard flock of SCAdians who are familiar faces but who i don't really know.
In my pensive, post-alcohol induces soporific states, i've been doing some thinking about relationships. For whatever reason, drinking seems to make me wax philosophical. Anyway, I've been ruminating about what i expect from a person in order have a long-term relationship with the person. Fortunately, I already have a wonderful primary partner, so there's no sense of urgency here. The list is getting quite detailed.
I expect a potential partner to be, more than anything else, i think, pretty highly intelligent. After spending much of the day together with Joseph and Katy, it's yet again reinforced how much difficulty i have spending time with people who aren't particularly bright, well=-read or well-educated. Just making the reduction to the lowest common denominator of small-talk is more of an effort than i want to exert on a regular basis.
The vagaries of my tastes vary pretty wildly, but i'd like to find her attractive, but it should be noted that this isn't strictly a physical valuation. Attitude counts significantly, as does self-assurance, carriage/deportment and so on.
Maturity is ranking much higher than I thought it would. As interesting as someone unpredicatble and spontaneous can be, it's nice to be able to expect someone when she says she'll show up, and not making committments if they're not going to be fulfilled.
For some reason, i have the feeling that this thought process is going to continue for some time, and i'm expecting, for reasons unknown, to end up with something mirroring the Kabbalistic Tree of Life. Rather than continue to prattle on as it all figures itself out, i'll just continue the rest in a seperate posting.

Look, Ma! I'm a Kabbalist.

Well, ok, so not really. There are just some close ties with the thought patterns i was discussing, and the ten sephiroth of the Tree of Life. Rather than take a somewhat traditional "Upper Crown/Lower Crown" approach to it, i'm going to examine the ten sephiroth in sets of three, starting with the three generally held to be genderless, then the three with associations to each gender and finally the tenth (possibly). I'm also doing them "backwards," in that rather than working up from yesod i'm working down from keter.
The sephiroth:

Keter- the Supreme Crown. I see this in context as self-assuredness, in being positive in self-image, even if not completely happy with all the elements thereof.

Tifereth- Beauty. This is, as noted before, beyond just physical attractiveness. It connects with keter as a continuation- perhaps a precedent- of the self image.

Yesod- Foundation. This is being "grounded" in reality. Taking a pragmatic approach to life, stability, and maturity are all elements which contribute to my concept of yesod. Being in the same world as everyone else, and able to see the greyscale continuum, rather than just light or dark is a major contributing factor to realizing this concept.

Binah-Understanding, Discernment. This speaks to me of intelligence- seeking learning for the purpose of improving one's self. As previously noted, this is something i really value, having real problems having discussions with people who aren't particularly bright or well-educated. This ties closely to chokhmah, which will be discussed later.

Din- Judgement, might, or power. I see this manifesting in someone as being able to be decisive in making decisions where necessary, and strong enough in herself to be able to stand by a decision. Note that this, like everything else, becomes a contributing factor to self-image as mentioned in keter.

Hod- Majesty. Deportment and conduct or carriage. Again, closely related with self-confidence and assuredness.

Chokhmah- Wisdom. As noted, closely tied to binah, but this is more the wisdom to intuit or theorize from things learned or gleaned.

Chesed- Grace, compassion. Being soft-hearted where possible, rather than soft-headed, weak, or indecisive.

Netzah- Endurance, eternity. I see this as the willingness to stay around, and commit to a relationship, riding things out, rather than leaving for other ports of call at the first storm.

Shekhinah- Divine Presence. Although not mentioned earlier, this is something really important to me as well- that a potential partner have her own spirituality as an integral part of who she is as a person, and as confident in it, seeking to expand and grow in it as opportunities present themselves, rather than settling for someone else's concept of the Divine One(s) and how they interact with us daily.
Next step: What i'd expect and what i think i have to offer someone.

And now, for something completely different...

Look, ma! I'm an Erisian poet!

Something about playing the role of a jester yesterday touched those not so latent Discordian roots, so here's something not related to relationships for a change today.

In the midst of a celebration,
A golden apple rolled into the midst of those gathered
Bearing a few words of illumination,
Inscribed in this manner: "To the fairest."
Knowing of the scene sure to ensue,
I did what anyone with sense and not blinded by ego would.
Knowing myself not to be amongst those considered comely,
I turned and walked to the trees
In search of the Trickster there.

I'm re-reading Neil Gaiman's Stardust for about the fifth time, in search of a creative spark that'll get me really working on Melpomene's Daughter yet again. It's such an incredibly beautiful and heart touching story, i'm finding myself wondering if i'm just a hack who will never manage to be able to handle things with as adroit and nimble a touch, but at the same time inspired to make the effort yet again. If you've never read this story, it's highly recommended. It's beautiful.

Here's just a little clip from it:
A question like "How big is Faerie?" does not admit of a simple answer.

Faeire, after all, is not one land, one principality or dominion. Maps of Faerie are unreliable, and may not be depended upon.

We talk of the kings and queens of Faerie as we would speak of the kings and queens of England. But Faerie is bigger than England, as it is bigger than the world (for, since the dawn of time, each land that has been forced off the map by explorers and the brave going out and proving it wasn't there has taken refuge in Faerie, so it is now, by the time that we come to write of it, a most huge place indeed, containing every manner of landscape and terrain). Here, truly, there be Dragons. Also gryphons, wyverns, hippogriffs, basilisks, and hydras. There are all manners of more familiar animals as well, cats affectionate and aloof, dogs noble and cowardly, wolves and foxes, eagles and bears."