It's all about *me*?

[ravencallscrows]

«Warning: Rant Impending.»

Getting introspective can be a dangerous thing. Probably more so if you're a reclusive introvert, because it could lead to implosion. The weak of stomach are encouraged to leave rather than stay and watch me shred myself through critical self-analysis. Actually, if you've known me to do these in the past, this one will seem comparatively mild in comparison.

Personally:
I usually feel pretty decent about myself these days. Still a bit more of a recluse than is probably ideal, but that's not a major issue, all in all. I don't have a lot of friends, but there are a few people who i don't go out of my way to avoid on a regular basis. Of course, most of them are recluses in their own right....

Relationships:
I think i'm half an effective communicator- the listening and responding half. I'm still usually really guarded when it comes to sharing personally with anyone, although if someone else wants to unburden, that's almost never a problem, and i feel as if i usually have something beneficial to contribute.
When it comes to developing new relationships, i can think of a few people who i'd be interested in knowing better, but there's ususally some disqualifying factor- mostly internal constructs- which are effective enough in preventing any progress toward that goal. Smalltalk usually isn't the problem, it's more lacking the social skills to have a feel for when it's appropriate to escalate to the next level. After the Kim debacle, i'm not overly keen on jumping into something without quite a bit of groundwork and foundation. I'm finding that what i appreciate in a person is changing fairly significantly as well.

Parenting:
Still having a hard time finding a balance here, and feel usually as if i vacillate between to strict and too lenient.

In general:
Of late, i've hit a longer than usual malaise. It's not really a depression, per se i don't think, but the net result is pretty similar. I find that i seem to have lost the passion and drive for nearly everything. As a result, i seem to waste inordinate amounts of time and get nothing done. I'm not sure how to break this cycle, but need to find something soon.
Oh, yeah- this too. When i'm unmotivated, and the fires (of passion/drive/creativity) i usually seem to devolve into overly analytical in trying to figure out why. *ARRRGH*