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A colleague at work forwarded a Newfie joke which just recently showed up on a mailing list on which she participates and the response it recieved.
The initial:
"Bono is at a U2 concert in Halifax, Nova Scotia, when he asks the audience for some quiet.Then, in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
He says into the microphone, in a deep solemn voice...
'Just for a moment, think outside yourself...Outside this arena.
Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.'
A loud Newfy [sic] voice from near the front pierces the moment...
"Well, Lard [sic] tunderin jasus, ya stupid arse, stop yer fockin' clappin', then!"
The response, from a clue-bat needing list denizen (and my colleague is dead-certain she was serious):
“Was this bit of 'wisdom' suppose to be a way to let us be flippant and callous to the suffering of other people ?
It was obvious Bono was being sincere about a tragic world situation. I don't think that Bono was going for a laugh to make it all seem like a joke.
Remind me never to go to Nova Scotia, if that is their report-worthy 'wisdom'.”
Marnie forwarded it to me, with this:
"I am trying so hard right now to restrain myself from replying “Actually it was Newfoundland. I’m sure any Newfies on this list are horribly offended now at being confused with Nova Scotians.”
I so want to, but I know it’s a bad idea – don’t want to draw the fire of someone who would seriously write the above and send it to a large list, some of whom she actually knows in real life… but I have to tell someone, so I’m telling you."
To relieve her need to have some sort of response, i sent her this, as penned in Broad Newfish from some unknown bayman:
Dear concerned American,
Long about here in the Province of Newfoundland and Labrador we have many things- we have double-digit unemployment, cod fisheries which have been devastated by mismanagement, but p'raps most importantly, we have people with a vibrant and often earthy sense of humour. Please note that that is humour with a 'u' and not the inferior version you have down in th' States.
The squid-jiggers wha' are down in Nova Scotia aren't quite as insightful as your average Newfoundlander, but by the standard of, say, Torontonians, they're still quite ascended. Still, it should be noted that it was a Newf in th' audience, nae any damned Bluenoser.
What was about happenin' here, y'see, if'n I take the moment to explain it to ye wit out ye gettin' all huffed at me, is that Mr. Bono was about seen as if it was his clappin' what was causin' th' little 'uns t' die, and if he'd but stop it, th' problem'd be solved.
Nae deep logic there, but I c'n see it might be a bit of a leap for one what was come from away or arn chucklehead sech as yers'lf t' twig onto.
Regards,
Newfish and Proud
Conception Bay,
Republic of Newfoundland
The initial:
"Bono is at a U2 concert in Halifax, Nova Scotia, when he asks the audience for some quiet.Then, in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands.
He says into the microphone, in a deep solemn voice...
'Just for a moment, think outside yourself...Outside this arena.
Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.'
A loud Newfy [sic] voice from near the front pierces the moment...
"Well, Lard [sic] tunderin jasus, ya stupid arse, stop yer fockin' clappin', then!"
The response, from a clue-bat needing list denizen (and my colleague is dead-certain she was serious):
“Was this bit of 'wisdom' suppose to be a way to let us be flippant and callous to the suffering of other people ?
It was obvious Bono was being sincere about a tragic world situation. I don't think that Bono was going for a laugh to make it all seem like a joke.
Remind me never to go to Nova Scotia, if that is their report-worthy 'wisdom'.”
Marnie forwarded it to me, with this:
"I am trying so hard right now to restrain myself from replying “Actually it was Newfoundland. I’m sure any Newfies on this list are horribly offended now at being confused with Nova Scotians.”
I so want to, but I know it’s a bad idea – don’t want to draw the fire of someone who would seriously write the above and send it to a large list, some of whom she actually knows in real life… but I have to tell someone, so I’m telling you."
To relieve her need to have some sort of response, i sent her this, as penned in Broad Newfish from some unknown bayman:
Dear concerned American,
Long about here in the Province of Newfoundland and Labrador we have many things- we have double-digit unemployment, cod fisheries which have been devastated by mismanagement, but p'raps most importantly, we have people with a vibrant and often earthy sense of humour. Please note that that is humour with a 'u' and not the inferior version you have down in th' States.
The squid-jiggers wha' are down in Nova Scotia aren't quite as insightful as your average Newfoundlander, but by the standard of, say, Torontonians, they're still quite ascended. Still, it should be noted that it was a Newf in th' audience, nae any damned Bluenoser.
What was about happenin' here, y'see, if'n I take the moment to explain it to ye wit out ye gettin' all huffed at me, is that Mr. Bono was about seen as if it was his clappin' what was causin' th' little 'uns t' die, and if he'd but stop it, th' problem'd be solved.
Nae deep logic there, but I c'n see it might be a bit of a leap for one what was come from away or arn chucklehead sech as yers'lf t' twig onto.
Regards,
Newfish and Proud
Conception Bay,
Republic of Newfoundland
