Back from the Seagoth Beltane Beach Party

...and wow, was it fun. Finally put faces and names together for a number of people, and, almost two hours after leaving i still remember a bunch of the names- which is bordering on the miraculous, since i usually suck at remembering them. Finally met Stax/AutumnGray, who lived up every bit to my expectations and Cadmus' advance billing (betcha you didn't know there was judging, didya?), saw RowanSilverwing, met a Grace, a Sarah, a Berta and a few other people; saw Riff/Retcon, met three Adams, a pair of Joshes, an Aaron, a Dragon (again) and a Nathan.
The fire performers were truly amazing to watch. Wish i'd been able to find the infrared film i was looking for, because it'd have been really cool to shoot. Maybe next time- Cadmus, keep me posted when your troupe is going to perform!
With the spirit of the holiday, i was shown something, and i'm pretty certain it ties in directly with the relationship i have with Brighid and the Morrigan. If you're someone who i know well enough that you've shared some part of your inner or outer struggles with me, you've probably gotten some sort of protective or parental vibe from me at some point- probably moreso if you're female, but also (although i think to a lesser extent) with the guys. If me playing knight-errant or Iain Nottingham to your Sara Pezzini has been too weird at any point, let me know about it, and i'll try to figure out some way to lighten up. More on the spiritual connection as it continues to coalesce in my head, but for now i need to shower off the bonfire smoke and go to bed.

New Project!

Well, i've tried to work out how to "write" for the Morrigan the way i did for Brighid. Haven't come up with anything i'd show anyone, and largely have reached the conclusion that i'd need to be able to write it in Old Celtic, corvid or she-wolf.
I think i have figured out one way to illustrate how i see Her, though. I'll need a volunteer from the studio audience ;-)
Basically, what's crystallizing in my mind's eye is a photographic series, shot at Rosario Beach, probably in standard black and white (this doesn't feel like an IR project) with a female model (uh, yeah- guys don't get to play a goddess) who fits a few basic guidelines:

Reasonably tall- probably 5'9"+

Solidly built with fairly broad shoulders

Shoulder length or longer dark hair

The ability to project an air of self-confidence (read: *attitude*)

Willing to hold bladed weapons and pose in exchange for prints.

In the next few days, i'll try to play in Poser (since it'd be relatively quick) a bit and try to come up with a rough CG image of the sort of thing i want to do, because trying to 'splain it just isn't going to work.

Protector, Warrior, Parent

OK, faithful reader. Here's the brain dump on the information i'm processing from the Divine Ones. It's still a little raw around the edges, but i think it's cohesive enough that it'll make sense to most of you.
Coming to enough of an understanding of one of the Divine Ones that you'd actively consider Him/Her as a patron, or yourself as a devotee (outside of the generic neo-pagan spectrum- i'm speaking of unique, specific divinities, not the "So-and-so is an aspect of the Lord/Lady" but from a more focused examination of what the extant legends tell us of the personality of the particular Divine One from the culture in which Xe [defaulting to gender neutral pronouns for simplicity] was worshipped) is a pretty momentous step. When you reach that point, prepare for your understanding to change pretty drastically as far as your notion of who that Divine One is. If you've chosen a divinity who's generally perceived as a "nice" one, prepare yourself to be disavowed of any remnants of white-light-fluffy-bunnyism. The Divine Ones are just like people in that no matter how "light" or "dark" they may seem on the surface, they're greyscale, and the "fluffiest" divinity you can think of will have some aspect which isn't quite so nice.
Brighid is very much this way. The "popular" image of Her is the nursemaid, midwife, healer, mother, patronness of the creative arts. Under that, there's an aspect of Warrior/Protector which isn't quite as "pretty."
It all connects. Any parent will confirm that they'd do anything in their power to keep their children from harm. If you're an artist- and i know several of you at least dabble at being so- you know how you feel about what you've created- it's a natural response. Add to that that the "historical" Brighid of legend was a warrior, and you've got a considerably more three-dimensional picture.
Pop-paganism similarly mistreats the Morrigan, often painting her as a "dark goddess."
Again, as far as accuracy goes, this is a wild oversimplification.
As much as the Phantom Queen is as associated with death as the Bean-sidhe (albeit in a somewhat different manner), and with battle; She's also a very primal sexuality goddess, and as clear a manifestation of Sovereignty in a Divine One as can be found in any of the Gaelic lore. Accordingly, there's very much an element of "don't you even dare think about hurting something that's close to Me, unless you have a death wish."
Understanding these aspects and how they interact has deepened my spirituality and the way i approach them- if you don't know, the way i relate with my Divine Ones is very similar to the concept of a vassal-liege relationship, accompanied with appropriate votive offerings. It has changed who i am as a person too. I find that i'm significantly more "grounded" and stable in myself-as-i-am, and there's an inner calm that comes with feeling that as much as i can expose myself in the role of protector, parent, or warrior for those who have shown me a bit of their vulnerability- perhaps, even in some cases lover (or would-be lover), i have Someone doing the same for me- even if not necessarily in the same manner.
Anyone wants to make things more difficult for one of my friends- one of you who share your burdens, they're going to have to do so through me, and if there's anything i can do to help in any way, all you need to do is ask.
If you doubt any of this, just ask damashita. Right now, i feel stable enough that i can handle the emotional or personal tsuris of all of you. It's perhaps a little spark of the divine fire which just burns. I don't know. This is the part where it's all still fitting together.

Hmmm.

Back from my informational (actually, been back for a while now). I don't think i made a complete fool of myself. Interestingly enough, one of the feature ownership areas for the spot is handling authorization- one of the things i already know about from my current Foundations ownerships and having owned Word DRM. We'll see. I like their ship cycle better than the two year one Office is on, and i think i asked at least some of the right questions.

Melpomene's Daughter, part 11

Alexei asks the wrong question, Nimuë lashes out

Eamonn, Fergus, and Cathal, the sons of King Ailill walked up together, each bearing a small buckler and a bronze sword. Almost as if on cue, they all dropped to one knee, and Cathal, the eldest of the three spoke in a low voice. “As you've commanded, dear Lady, we are your servants. By the Gods themselves may we but be worthy of the honour which you've bestowed upon us.”

Nimuë motioned to the brothers to get up. “I certainly doubt that there's much of a need for prostration. I'd certainly feel better if you didn't stand on ceremony in this case. Not to question your courage here, but there are some unknown dangers here. I'm not sure what challenges Alexei will face, but I rather expect that Morgaine will put in an appearance. I am at least accustomed to dealing with my sister, and you know her unimpeachable reputation when it comes to men.”

All three of the brothers and Barinthus laughed at this. “Aye, that she does. She's simply the death of them,” the old man chuckled.

“I get the distinct impression that there's something happening here, and I'm feeling distinctly left out of it.”

“You've not really missed much, Alexei. Just noting that I'd not be surprised to see my sister put in an appearance.”

“I couldn't help but notice that it seemed that the brothers, who, if I've followed matters correctly are the sons of a king, prostrated themselves to you. Although these things aren't readily practiced where I come from, if recollection is correct, that's a sign that you're ranked more highly than they are, which begs the question- exactly who are you?”

“That's not important now. There are some questions which are better left unanswered at present, and that is most definitely one of them.”

“So what you're telling me is that you've brought me out of my world, to embark on some sort of mystical, epic adventure; and I don't even need to know the truth about who has sent me on it? Well, you can just count me right out. I'm not going to issue any sort of 'take me back to my world if you can't tell me right now who you are and what we're doing here' ultimatum, but I'm really not happy about not knowing what's happening.”

“I thought when I chose you that I'd chosen well. Now I'm beginning to have some doubts. Instead of the man I thought you were, it seems that I've actually chosen a querulous child. Trust me in this. I am Nimuë, and my role in this world isn't important at the moment. What is important is that you trust me enough to go off with Barinthus. Cathal, Eamonn and Fergus will remain here to watch over things. It's important that above all else that you remember always to be true to your instincts; because it is your instincts which have the ability to save- or destroy- the world. If we are successful on our quests, then I'll be able to tell you who I am, and you'll understand.”

“Well, I still don't care for being kept in the dark about what's happening in the least, but I'm not really in a position to do anything about it, am I? I can't go back even if I wanted to, and after seeing what things are like here, I'm not sure that I'd would, especially if there's the opportunity that I could stay here with you, whoever you are.”

Next week: the nature of the quest.